Whataboutism Toolkit - A Bukkake of Evidence from a World Without Rules

 

The Logic of Whataboutism

Whataboutism isn’t a deflection. It’s how justice actually works. In law, it’s called precedent. In science, it’s called falsifiability. In logic, it’s proof by contradiction. The idea is simple: if a rule doesn’t apply when you change the variables, it’s not an equation, it’s an excuse.

But in geopolitics, consistency is heresy. Point out that NATO bombed civilians and so did Russia? You’re a Putin apologist. Mention that both Kosovo and Crimea seceded with support from a superpower? You’re spreading disinformation. Suggest that George Washington and Hamas used similar insurgent tactics? You’ve committed the sin of symmetry.

So be it.

This is a cheat sheet to accompany my Op-ed, In Defense of Whataboutism, which argued that whataboutism is the scientific method of justice: a stress test for hypocrisy disguised as moral principle. Now we run the experiment and look at the empirical evidence. This isn’t theory. This is a bukkake of examples. And yes, for the uninitiated, “bukkake” is a Japanese food term, referring to sauce poured over noodles from all sides. In this case, the noodles are your assumptions, and the sauce is precedent.

Bon appétit.

Use Whataboutism Like a Scientist:

1.           Identify the moral rule.

2.           Flip the actors; apply the rule to a different context.

3.           If the rule collapses under symmetry, it was never a rule. It was a brand.

 

Rhetorical Firewalls: How They Shut Down Scrutiny

These aren’t arguments. They’re linguistic sandbags piled up to stop the flood of comparison, tactics used to insulate the powerful from comparison. They exist to preserve narrative dominance, allowing the West to violate rules while insisting others obey them. But justice shouldn’t work that way. It requires symmetry.

·       False equivalence: Invoked when the comparison is too accurate to dismiss based on facts. “That’s not the same” is the cry, without ever explaining why (i.e. when you compare US and Russian drone strikes)

·       Bothsidesism: Accusing someone of justifying evil when they acknowledge shared wrongdoing. (i.e.  when you notice that both Israel and Hamas have killed innocent civilians)

·       Moral relativism: The charge thrown at anyone who applies moral standards to more than one country. (i.e. what you’re accused of when you point out that South Sudan, Myanmar, and Ukraine all used child soldiers)

·       Context denial: When history justifies our crimes but incriminates theirs.

·       Whataboutism: The act of demanding symmetry rebranded as evasion – because symmetrical rules expose asymmetrical power.

·       Weaponized identity: When dissent is deflected by accusing the speaker of insensitivity based on who they are, rather than addressing the argument.  Commonly used to say “You can’t compare this if you aren’t X”

 

Secession: Self-Determination for Some

Self-determination is canon in international law, enshrined in the UN Charter, preached by Woodrow Wilson, parroted by diplomats. But in practice? It’s roulette. Sometimes secession gets a standing ovation, sometimes a sanctions regime. Flip the flags and watch the rules change.

·       Kosovo declared independence in 2008 after a US-backed bombing campaign in 1999 detached it from Serbia. Western leaders hailed it as a moral victory.

·       Crimea held a referendum and overwhelmingly voted to leave Ukraine in 2014. The result? Sanctions, pariah status, and cries of “illegal annexation.”

·       East Timor seceded from Indonesia with UN backing and international support in 2002.

·       Republika Srpska wants to leave Bosnia after decades of dysfunction but is told to stay by the German Office of the High Representative, because the EU said so.

·       Abkhazia runs its own government, military, and borders, and has for decades. It’s still labeled a “breakaway province” because Georgia has better PR and is in the right alliance.

·       Pridnestrove also has its own government, customs regime, and even its own currency, and has since the fall of the Soviet Union, yet the world insists it must remain part of Moldova in name, if not in practice.

·       Taiwan has everything a real country has: borders, elections, military, currency. But we pretend it’s not sovereign to keep China happy, while selling it billions in arms.

·       Catalonia tried a peaceful referendum on secession in 2017. Spain sent in riot cops and arrested its leaders when the referendum passed.

·       Scotland held a vote on secession and got applause.

·       North Cyprus was split off in 1974 after Turkish intervention in response to a Greek coup. It remains unrecognized, tolerated only because Greece threatened to block EU expansion.

·       Karakalpakstan protested for its constitutional autonomy within Uzbekistan in 2022. The government cut internet and opened fire.

·       Chechnya tried to leave Russia. Russia leveled Grozny. Tatarstan once had a president, but now it has a governor. The Sámi have parliaments but no power.

 

Genocide and Historical Trauma: Mourning with Conditions

Genocide is supposed to trigger justice. Trauma is supposed to justify protection. But some victims get states, and others get hashtags, if that. This section applies whataboutism to memory itself.

·       Israel was founded partly in response to Holocaust trauma, and its existence is often treated as moral reparations. But if the same logic were applied elsewhere, we’d be handing out states like condolence cards.

·       Armenians were systematically exterminated by the Ottomans. It took over a century for the US to call it genocide, and only after Erdogan annoyed Washington.

·       Circassians were cleansed from the North Caucasus by Tsarist Russia. Their homeland is now a ski resort with no memorials, no flags, and no foreign policy lobby.

·       Chechens were deported by Stalin and later bombed into submission by Putin.

·       Roma were slaughtered by the Nazis alongside Jews, but received no reparations, no homeland, and little international attention. They faced forced sterilization and ethnic slurs in EU countries that claim to uphold human rights.

·       Kurds, numbering over 30 million across four countries, have faced chemical attacks, massacres, and betrayals for decades, despite helping in the fight against ISIS. Their reward? Still no state, labeled as terrorists, and constant bombing by NATO-member Turkey.

·       M23 composed largely of Tutsis who survived the Rwandan genocide, are labeled terrorists for fighting the Hutu militias that helped kill their families.

 

Terrorism: Founding Fathers with Better Branding

If terrorism means violence for political ends, then George Washington, Mandela, and Begin qualify. So do Hamas, M23, and the IRA. But only the losers get stuck with the word. Symmetry demands we either use it consistently; or admit it’s just branding.

·       George Washington led a guerrilla insurgency, burned crops, and used irregular tactics against a legal government. If he’d lost, he’d be remembered as a war criminal.

·       Paul Revere smuggled arms and gathered intelligence for militias targeting British loyalists. Replace the tricorn hat with a keffiyeh and tell me what CNN would say.

·       Samuel Adams incited mobs and riots. These days we call that “domestic extremism” unless it makes good Broadway.

·       Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for 27 years as a terrorist, then given a Nobel Peace Prize. His ANC bombed public spaces and targeted infrastructure.

·       Menachem Begin ordered the bombing of the King David Hotel, killing dozens of civilians. Today he has streets named after him.

·       Yitzhak Shamir’s Lehi group assassinated the UN’s envoy to Palestine. He still became Prime Minister of Israel.

·       Yitzhak Rabin helped expel over 50,000 Palestinians from Lydda. Later, he won the Nobel Peace Prize.

·       The IRA bombed pubs, markets, and government offices across Britain. Today, their political offshoot, Sinn Féin helps run Northern Ireland.

·       Hamas uses similar guerrilla tactics and bombings, but they’re branded terrorists because they didn’t win.

·       M23 formed from Tutsi survivors of the Rwandan genocide. They’re labeled terrorists for fighting the same Hutu forces that did the killing.

·       Syrian rebels who beheaded children on video were classified as “moderates” by U.S. intelligence, until funding dried up.

·       ISIS was rightly reviled, but Azov Battalion, once banned from GoFundMe, Facebook and other platforms for neo-Nazi affiliations, was instantly rebranded as “defenders of democracy” after Russia invaded.

 

Targeted Killings: Moral Sniping by Passport Color

Assassination used to be scandalous. Now it’s Tuesday. From car bombs to drone strikes, the same acts get different headlines depending on who does them. This section flips the passports and watches the labels shift.

·       Israel has repeatedly assassinated Iranian nuclear scientists, including in car bombings and motorcycle drive-bys. These are called "surgical operations" and celebrated as necessary for national security. They similarly assassinated Hassan Nasrallah, secretary general of Hezbollah, with US president Joe Biden calling it “a measure of justice.”

·       Russia poisoned Alexander Litvinenko with polonium in London and tried the same with Sergei Skripal using Novichok. These acts were rightly condemned, but are they somehow more outrageous than car bombs in Tehran?

·       Ukraine has taken credit for killing multiple Russian generals via drone strikes, car bombs, and sniper hits deep in Russian-held territory. These are hailed as brave acts of resistance.

·       The United States executed Anwar al-Awlaki, a U.S. citizen, via drone strike in Yemen—without trial. Two weeks later, they killed his 16-year-old son the same way. The response: a shrug and a few law review articles.

·       Iran killed Mossad-linked agents in Iraqi Kurdistan. “Escalation,” screams Washington, even after “justified” Israeli strikes on Damascus that killed Iranian commanders.

·       Hezbollah carried out a cross-border hit on Israeli soldiers in retaliation for airstrikes. It was declared terrorism by Western media before the funeral even ended.

·       DPRK agents allegedly used VX nerve agent to assassinate Kim Jong Nam, the leader’s estranged brother, in Malaysia. While certainly theatrical, it echoed methods not so different from what MI6 or Mossad has been praised for.

·       Saudi Arabia murdered Jamal Khashoggi inside its own consulate with a bone saw. The US response? A few visa restrictions and record-breaking arms sales.

 

Nuclear Hypocrisy: Deterrence for the Chosen, Not for Chosun

Nukes are bad - unless your allies have them. Deterrence is stabilizing - unless it’s someone you don’t like. The test: flip the flag, re-run the scenario, and watch the logic short-circuit.

·       The U.S. is the only country to have used nuclear weapons in war, *twice*, yet insists it alone can decide who may possess them. We memorialize Hiroshima while surrounding North Korea with submarines and B-52s, then ask why they feel nervous.

·       The U.S. refuses to take first use off the table in any future war with North Korea. That's right! We openly reserve the right to start a nuclear war, then clutch pearls when Pyongyang wants a deterrent.

·       North Korea withdrew from the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT), legally, under the very clause the U.S. demanded be included, yet we sanction them as if they’re in violation. The argument now hinges on whether they gave “enough notice.” It’s been over 20 years.

·       When South Korea’s conservative politicians suggest developing homegrown nuclear weapons, Washington shrugs. Samsung and Hyundai aren’t going anywhere.

·       Israel, an undeclared nuclear state, never signed the NPT and operates a full nuclear arsenal with zero international inspections. Washington doesn’t just ignore it, we even looked the other way when Israel kidnapped and imprisoned Mordechai Vanunu, the whistleblower who exposed it.

·       Iran, by contrast, signed the NPT, allowed inspectors, and never developed a bomb, yet we’ve threatened to bomb them for the hypothetical sin of what Israel already did.

·       India and Pakistan tested nuclear weapons in 1974 and 1998 respectively. After a brief slap on the wrist, they became accepted members of the nuclear world. Now they trade threats over Kashmir while still getting invited to summits.

·       China, despite having nuclear weapons, maintains a minimal deterrent and a declared no-first-use policy. Meanwhile, the U.S. actively develops new warhead types and “low-yield” nukes for battlefield use, because nothing says stability like more options for armageddon.

Nuclear hypocrisy isn’t just policy; it’s doctrine. The rule is simple: nukes are stabilizing when we have them, destabilizing when our enemies do. Deterrence for the chosen, not the Chosun (조선).

 

Occupation and Invasion: The Geography of Justified Aggression

Occupation is illegal, except when it’s strategic. Conquest is a crime, unless we call it peacekeeping. This section tests whether sovereignty means anything, or just whichever flag sits at the grownups’ table.

·       Russia invades Ukraine and occupies Crimea and parts of Donbass. It’s called “genocide,” “imperialism,” and the greatest threat to European peace since Hitler.

·       The U.S. invaded Iraq in 2003 on false WMD claims, toppled the government, and occupied it for nearly a decade. That was “spreading democracy.”

·       NATO bombed Serbia in 1999 without UN approval, destroyed civilian infrastructure, and created an independent Kosovo. That was a “humanitarian intervention.”

·       Turkey invaded northern Cyprus in 1974 and occupies it to this day. Nobody sanctioned Turkey. Greece grumbled. Europe moved on.

·       France occupied Mali with ground troops for nearly a decade. That was “fighting terrorism.”

·       Turkey currently occupies parts of Syria, claiming a “buffer zone” to keep out Kurds. NATO still loves them.

·       Israel occupies the West Bank and annexed East Jerusalem and the Golan Heights. The U.S. moved its embassy and recognized the annexation.

·       Morocco occupies Western Sahara, despite UN rulings. The Trump administration recognized their claim in exchange for a deal with Israel.

·       Saudi Arabia invaded Bahrain in 2011 to crush Shia protests. Not a peep from Washington.

·       Ethiopia invaded Tigray with support from Eritrea, committing war crimes. The U.S. paused aid… briefly.

·       Azerbaijan invaded Nagorno-Karabakh, displaced tens of thousands of Armenians, and shut down their republic. Western media applauded the “restoration of territorial integrity.”

·       Indonesia invaded East Timor, killing over 100,000 people. Eventually forced out, but only after decades and global outcry.

·       Pakistan’s control of parts of Kashmir is deemed a “dispute.” Israel’s control of the Golan is a “reality.” Russia’s hold on Crimea is “illegitimate.”

·       The U.S. has troops in Syria with no UN mandate and no invitation from the Syrian government. We call it “counterterrorism.”

·       Iran deployed militias in Syria, often with government approval. We call it “destabilizing the region.”

·       Russia helped Assad fight rebels, many of whom we trained. That’s “propping up a dictator.”

·       The U.S. trained rebels in Syria, some of whom joined Al-Qaeda affiliates. That’s “supporting democracy.”

International Justice: ICC for Thee, Not for Me

The International Criminal Court (ICC) brands itself as the world’s moral compass. But the needle spins wildly. It prosecutes non-signatories it dislikes and ignores signatories it fears. If universal justice collapses at the sight of a veto, it was never justice to begin with.

·       The United States has never signed the Rome Statute, which governs the ICC. Congress even passed the “Hague Invasion Act,” authorizing military force if any U.S. service member is arrested by the court. The idea of universal jurisdiction ends the moment it applies to Americans.

·       No American has ever been indicted by the ICC, despite overwhelming evidence of war crimes in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Syria. From Fallujah to Bagram, the record is long, but apparently not actionable.

·       The U.S. sanctioned ICC officials for daring to investigate possible war crimes committed by Americans and Israelis, because they are fellow non-signatories. Imagine Russia doing that and still being called part of the “rules-based international order.”

·       Vladimir Putin was indicted by the ICC in 2023, despite Russia not being a party to the ICC, and this was cheered by the same countries that shield their own officials from scrutiny.

·       The U.S. referred Kim Jong Un to the ICC in the UN Security Council for crimes allegedly committed under his father's rule, while condemning North Korea for holding family members responsible for each other’s crimes. That’s symmetry malfunction - twice.

·       Omar al-Bashir, former president of Sudan, was indicted for genocide. He was indeed monstrous, but also a political pawn for Western credibility.

·       The Democratic Republic of Congo, Kenya, Uganda, Ivory Coast. The ICC’s early caseload looked like a “Who’s Who of Africa.” For years, it was joked that the ICC stood for “International Caucasian Court,” because it only prosecuted Africans.

·       The UN General Assembly voted to refer Kim Jong Un to the ICC in 2014 for crimes committed under his father’s regime, before he even came to power.  The U.S. backed his indictment for the alleged crimes of his father, while condemning the DPRK for punishing people for the crimes of their relatives. Symmetry malfunction.  Doubly so given the US thinks  not signing the Rome Statue should exempt its people from prosecution.

·       Now, in 2025, there is talk of sending Kim to the ICC for helping Russia in expelling the Ukrainians from Kursk, in accordance with their mutual defense treaty. 

·       Israel isn’t a signatory but screams when the ICC investigates possible war crimes in Gaza or the West Bank. The U.S. sides with Israel, of course.

·       Palestine is recognized by the ICC, and so can file complaints. But any investigation gets slammed as antisemitic or illegitimate.

·       Russia, China, India, and Israel are all non-signatories. But only Russia and North Korea get treated as international outlaws. The others? Strategic partners.

·       Serbian leaders were hauled to The Hague after the Yugoslav wars. But few others stood beside them. Apparently, war crimes have a dominant ethnic group – something hotly contested by the Serbs.

 

Free Speech: Censorship for Enemies, Platforms for Friends

Speech is free - until it hurts feelings. Then it’s “disinformation” or “incitement.” This section tests whether free speech survives when unpopular views come from the wrong mouths.

·       “From the river to the sea” gets students expelled, doxxed, and deported from universities across the U.S. But “Death to Arabs” gets chanted by Israeli marchers in East Jerusalem—and receives police escort, not condemnation.

·       TikTok is a threat to democracy because it might spread anti-American views. But we fund Radio Free Asia, VOA, and other propaganda arms abroad and call it public diplomacy.

·       Russian state media is banned across the EU and US social platforms. But Israeli, Ukrainian, and U.S. government messaging floods every channel with no label but a flag emoji.

·       The French magazine Charlie Hebdo publishes cartoons mocking the Prophet Muhammad, defended as free speech. But if a professor in the U.S. assigns that same cartoon, they risk administrative investigation.

·       Western universities praise academic freedom, until someone questions race-based admissions, gender orthodoxy, or the moral clarity of Ukraine’s war. Then the “community guidelines” kick in.

·       Jewish students at U.S. campuses must be protected from “unsafe” environments created by slogans. But Palestinian students reporting doxxing, threats, and repression are told to file complaints and “stay calm.”

·       Pro-Hamas statements are criminalized in Germany, even as it defends the right to protest on behalf of Ukraine.

·       France banned pro-Palestinian rallies, while allowing violent police crackdowns on labor unions and yellow vest protesters.

·       “Unfettered free speech” was the rallying cry when Elon Musk bought Twitter. But content still gets algorithmically shadowbanned, and account suspensions have tripled on X.

·       GoFundMe shut down donations to the Canadian trucker convoy. But it fast-tracked donations to Azov Battalion once they were rebranded as “pro-democracy defenders.”

·       When academics criticize affirmative action, they risk paper retractions, career sabotage, and mobs. But faculty who call for “decolonizing math” get book deals and tenure.

 

Civilian Casualties: Collateral for Us, War Crimes for Them

A dead child is a dead child. But if the bomb came from your side, it’s collateral damage. This section tests whether civilian deaths matter, or just whose media team gets there first.

·       Russia bombed a shopping mall in Kremenchuk. Western media called it a war crime before the fires were out.

·       The US bombed a wedding party in Yemen. It was an unfortunate “intelligence failure.” The Saudis did the same four years later. While initially complaining, we eventually gave Saudi Arabia more weapons afterward.

·       Israel destroyed entire neighborhoods in Gaza in 2023 and 2024, killing thousands. The official term was “precision strike.” Meanwhile, Hamas rockets that killed a dozen were proof of “unprovoked barbarism.”

·       The U.S. dropped white phosphorus on Fallujah in 2004. It’s banned for use against civilians under Protocol III of the Convention on Certain Conventional Weapons. We claimed it was used "legally."

·       NATO bombed Serbia’s power grid and television studios in 1999, killing journalists. It was called “humanitarian intervention.”

·       Russia bombed Ukrainian television towers in Kharkov and Kiev. “Censorship through bloodshed.”

·       The U.S. drone war killed over 1,500 civilians in Pakistan, Yemen, and Somalia. Collateral damage. “Necessary to prevent greater terror.”

·       Turkey bombed Kurdish villages in Iraq and Syria, often killing women and children. The West called it “anti-terror operations.”

·       A U.S. drone strike in Kabul in 2021 killed 10 civilians, including 7 children. No one was punished. The Pentagon cleared itself in a review.

·       Israel bombed the home of a Hamas commander in 2021, killing family members. “He was a legitimate target.”

·       Russia hit an apartment complex in Mariupol. “Massacre,” “atrocity,” “genocide” - all words used within 24 hours.

·       Saudi Arabia bombed a school bus in Yemen, killing 40 children. We helped refuel the jets. Then sold them more.

 

The Forgotten and Ignored: No Flag, No Friends, No Future

The ultimate symmetry test: what happens when a people has no sponsor, no hashtags, no lobby? These groups get erased not just from maps, but from the moral ledger entirely.

·       The Mapuche in Chile and Argentina have demanded the return of their ancestral lands for decades. Instead, they get bulldozers, arrests, and branding as "internal extremists."

·       The Tamils in Sri Lanka fought for autonomy after decades of discrimination. The civil war ended with mass atrocities, and the international community shrugged, called it peace, and moved on.

·       The Baloch in Pakistan face systematic disappearances, torture, and executions. But since Pakistan is technically our ally, they don't exist on our human rights radar.

·       The Ambazonians in Cameroon declared independence in 2017. No one noticed. No one cared. They’ve been fighting ever since, unaided and unrecognized.

·       The Karens in Myanmar fought for self-rule for decades. They’re now just another ethnic minority getting bombed by a junta nobody wants to deal with.

·       The Oromos, Ethiopia’s largest ethnic group, have been persecuted, imprisoned, and silenced—despite having the numbers for self-rule. No hashtags for them.

·       The Roma were slaughtered alongside Jews during the Holocaust. Today they’re Europe’s permanent underclass: stateless, marginalized, and often forcibly sterilized in EU countries that lecture others about human rights.

 

I've Seen Terrorism. I Still Believe in Symmetry.

I’ve experienced terror first hand - IRA bombs, 9/11, Moscow hostages, Syrian crackdowns. That’s why I believe in symmetry: because the bombs don’t ask your allegiance before they fall.

·       On March 9, 1994, I arrived at Heathrow airport to start my postdoc at Oxford University.  An announcement came from the pilot as we sat on the tarmac for hours telling us we could not disembark because there was a bomb on the roof of Terminal 4 – IRA terrorism.  A few days later, I was again at Heathrow en-route to Paris, when, as we were taking off, the IRA began to launch more mortars at the runway.

·       On September 11, 2001, I watched the Twin Towers fall from my apartment window in New York City. I saw the second plane hit. I watched the smoke fill the skyline. The sirens didn’t stop for weeks.

·       I was in Moscow meeting colleagues on October 23, 2002 in transit from New York to Almaty, Kazakhstan.  We left our luggage at the Pavaletskaya train station, from where the Aeroexpress train left for Domodedovo airport.  When we arrived, there was red tape everywhere and access was difficult, because a few blocks away, at Dubrovka Theater, the Chechen theater hostage crisis was unfolding. The whole city held its breath. The government gassed the building, killing not just the terrorists but over 100 hostages. No one was ever held accountable.

·       In July 2009, I was in Ürümqi, Xinjiang, when the city exploded in riots. Streets were blocked, phones were cut, and I quickly flew out to Novosibirsk because of the chaos.

·       During the Arab Spring of 2011, I was in Syria, touring Quneitra in the Golan Heights DMZ as security forces began their crackdown on protests in Daraa. I watched the transformation from political tension to bloodshed with terrifying speed, as I escaped to Amman.

·       Later on that same trip, I was in Lebanon’s Bekaa Valley, at a police checkpoint when we heard an explosion a few hundred meters away.  It was tied to the kidnapping of a group of Estonian cyclists. One of those cyclists, it later turned out, was the son of a colleague.

Please do not tell me I have not seen terrorism or experienced the fear that comes with it.  I absolutely don’t glorify it, and I never excuse violence. But I refuse to pretend that states have clean hands just because they print flags. Governments don’t prevent terrorism by monopolizing force. They cause terrorism by hoarding a monopoly on it.

 

The Passamaquoddy Compromise (Or, Why I Deserve to Rule Maine and NYC)

Let’s be honest. If we’re going to hand out territory based on historical grievance, I’ve got a solid claim myself.

On my father’s side, I’m descended from the Dutch settlers who legally bought Manhattan from the Lenape, only to have it stolen by the British. On my mother’s side, I’m part Passamaquoddy, a people who once controlled much of what we now call Maine, before it was carved up, fenced off, and handed to Boston lawyers and logging companies.

So by the logic of ancestral trauma, I should be mayor of New York and governor of Maine.

Or, at the very least, I should get free lobsters and Nathan’s hot dogs for life.

But I don’t want either. Because history doesn’t hand out flags, power does. And precedent only matters when it's inconvenient for someone else.

Symmetry isn’t relativism. It’s math. It's justice. It’s what’s left when slogans fail and the bombs fall. And if that offends you?

Then it worked.